|Occupation||Guardian of Earth, Weegee hunter, actor.|
|Appearances||Various films, YouTube Poop, Nostalgia Critic|
|Enemies||Weegee, Malleo, Fortran.|
|Relatives||Eegeew, father. Weegee, uncle. Malleo, uncle. Tylda Harkinian, cousin.|
|Embodied Personalities||He doesn't need any.|
Chuck Norris was born in what is now Texas in 69,987 BC to a human mother and Eegeew, who raised him to kill anyone who posed a threat to humans or advanced animals, especially Weegee and his kin. Ganon once tried to kill him, but Norris survived and caused Ganon's near-total obliteration. King Harkinian and Gaston both asked him to fight in the Form Wars, but Norris declined to intervene in such petty matters. A few years later, he helped Impa and others fend off an imminent troll assault on Earth during the Poopocalypse.
In 2026, Norris saved the Earth by absorbing all energy from a bunch of nuclear missiles that were launched at the conclusion of World War III, but this almost killed him and put him into a coma. With Norris unable to fight, Weegee soon captured and imprisoned him, then took over the Earth. Weegee knew he could not kill Norris, so he cryogenically froze him and buried him deep underground in Antarctica before he could recover his full strength. Weegee abandoned Earth years later, but because no non-Weegees knew Norris's location, he remained dormant for centuries.
Eventually, Norris's stasis pod malfunctioned, and Earth's climate warmed enough for him to unfreeze. Finally waking up in 2414 only to find the entire world under the oppressive rule of Dr. Robotnik, Norris went crazy and went on a rampage, killing or defeating every Weegee or part-Weegee he could find, including Weegpa. After a while, he calmed down, then gathered an army and overthrew Robotnik. Norris then returned to his role as a guardian of Earth, but in 2559, another nuclear war began. Instead of trying to stop it, Norris finally gave up on mankind and abandoned the planet to wander the universe. He spent the next few decades trying to catch Weegee, and in 2588, he finally fought and defeated Weegee, then delivered him to the Koopa Kingdom.
Main article: Chuck Gnorris
- He can do anything, because he is Chuck Norris.
- Like his father, he is indefinitely forbidden from entering the Weegeeverse.
- He is a revered figure in Poopism.
- His mother is an ancestor of Mhar.
- He once smote the Nostalgia Critic for criticizing his movies.
- Blue Yoshi once tried to assassinate him. Chuck Norris used a Falcon Punch on Blue Yoshi. It is unknown how Blue Yoshi survived.