John Harbanno (1953–2017), better known by his pseudonyms John the Baker, John Baker, The Baker, or George, is a fat Gamelonian baker who sells very flammable cakes, much to his dismay. He is the owner of John's Bakery, and since 2010, he has appeared in commercials. He lives in Konkogi.
The Baker is a fat elf with orange hair and a pink nose similar to Wario's, possibly indicating a relation between the two. He usually wears a white chef's hat and sometimes sells bricks when he runs out of food.
- "My cakes will burn!"
- "Oh, my cakes!"
- "It's awful!"
- "Come see my cakes!"
- He's responsible for the Hylian Market Crash and the Gray Spaghetti Plague. This makes him one of the most hated people in Hyrule. Due to this, he decided to take his revenge on Hyrule by joining P.I.N.G.A.S
- He is widely suspected to be involved in some sort of illegal activity, since nobody can figure out how he manages to stay in business or pay for advertising while he's constantly burning his own equipment, property, and ingredients and has hardly any customers.
- He created gray spaghetti, which is delicious but deadly. Gay Luigi killed him early in the Great Eluryhian Offensive for tarnishing spaghetti's public image.
- He had a son, known as Balka, with Lady Alma.
- The League of Fire offered him membership, but he accidentally burned the invitation before he could read it.